"Okay, let's do this one last time, yeah?"

"For real this time. This is it."

- Miles Morales, Into the Spider-Verse

(Seriously go watch Into the Spider-Verse if you haven't already. Easily my favorite Marvel movie. That link will tell you where you can watch it.)

Hello hello everyone. My name is Nick but everything I make gets released under Nikolyst. Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends to the umpteenth iteration of my personal website. New domain, new look, new goals. In no particular order:

Goal #1 - Be real about my mental health reality

I've struggled with what I thought was anxiety for many years. Come last summer however, I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and boy did a lot of things start to make sense. Now normally ("normally", pshhhh), the professional world doesn't like to talk about mental health and sometimes even sees a job candidate that makes any mention of mental health issues (even if things are better than they were in the past) as an unjustifiable risk. Maybe I can't change that in the world of IT (my day job) but I can be as open as I want on here. The horrendous irony is that means I need to refrain from disclosing my creative persona to any employers for as long as I am an employee but that's how this world works. As long as I do that, I can be as open as I please about whatever mental health struggles I'm currently going through. More on why I want to share these struggles publicly in a future post.

Goal #2 - Make, finish, & release more things

I like doing creative things but my OCD tends to get stuck on perfection: trying to make the perfect music, trying to find the perfect tools, etc. Ironically, all that time obsessing over making something perfect (and let's be honest, there's ain't a single damn thing in this world that's perfect) results in me failing to make anything substantial at all. Maybe some rough sketches in a DAW but that's it. While I will never be "cured" of OCD, I certainly plan on finishing more projects by utilizing techniques I learned in an intensive therapy program last summer. I want to not just release these finished projects but release them with price tags. I love the theoretical idea of Creative Commons licenses and the culture surrounding it but I can't release everything for free if I want to make some supplementary income from my creative works (and maybe someday a primary income but we'll see what happens). I still plan to release some things for free though (such as glitchVids which you can get right now) so be on the lookout.

Goal #3 - Have a central place to showcase my stuff

You can't create a code repository on Bandcamp and it makes no sense to put a music album on GitHub. One function of this site is to showcase every creative project of mine regardless of what form it takes: music, visuals, code, etc. I've got nice categories visible on the main page so you can choose whether you want to see everything or just a particular category.

Final goal (that I can think of) - Content longevity

I've created and recreated my personal website countless times since third grade (1998 for me I think). On the off chance I write a blog post that helps even a single person in some way, I want it to be accessible to others for more than just a few months or a couple years. This time around I'm using an offline static site generator that publishes to GitHub Pages. I have a high degree of data redundancy now so recovery in case of a disaster should be (to use a word my computer science professors utilized that absolutely infuriated my undiagnosed OCD brain) trivial.

Alright, there's my intro. Go check out my projects, add me on social media, pop my RSS (or JSON) feed into your reader of choice, or just chill until I have more stuff. Either way, this post is over.